There are a few things that I have noticed make me uneasy. Borderline crazy or make me feel crazy.
1) I haven’t flown for a long time and deep down I have a mild fear of flying but that isn’t what keeps me away from the airport. I am scared shitless of airport security and any interaction with the dept of homeland security. Many would say, I am not doing anything wrong, I need not worry. I worry though. I expect to be wrongfully accused. I don’t trust them. The same fear makes crossing the US Canadian border a fearful experience though I have done that once post 9/11. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t that bad. They didn’t do much but it left me with that I hope they had rubber gloves on feeling. I also have amorbid fear of being kept on a plane on the tarmac for many hours without a working bathroom
2) Redlight cameras. Ever since my wife got a ticket from one, I look up at those things and my heartrate increases. Everything starts moving slowly and I am obsessed with getting out of that intersection. I also get haunted with fear of who is watching and what are they doing with it. I get that same feeling when I see a cop following me on the road. Innocent until proven guilty. YEAH RIGHT.
3) Telephones. Spending years working in a help desk. Now avoiding creditor calls have caused me to jump out of my skin when the phone rings. Once I see who it is, I calm down. But I don’t answer the phone in most cases without caller ID. The feeling I get when it rings is what scares me.
I don’t want to be a slave to these things and with the exception of the airport one, they haven’t been crippling fears. Just more of an internal panic until I calm down.
Maybe I am losing my mind. Maybe the thought of a surveillance society is too much for me. Maybe I am normal and everyone feels this way about something inside.
1 comment:
We all have the need to be free, in thought, movement, etc. It is indeed stressful to know you're being monitored, not trusted. It's crap. We're taught to trust the system and yet the system doesn't give us that in return.
But yes, it's certainly important for every one of us to keep the stress and resulting fear in check, remain vigilant in what kind of a world we really want, what is acceptable and what is not. Most people, I would guess, feel as you do.
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