Monday, December 17, 2007

A Spiritual Diet of Christmas Cookies and Candy

OK. So a lot of people believe that Christmas is all about Christ and would fight a war to keep him in it. Here is what I never got and was deeply disturbed by this Sunday. I went to Church this week. I hadnt gone for a few months on Sunday AM.

Here is what I saw

1) Shortened worship. On the dull side
2) A generic invitation to accept Christ that would mean nothing to someone who doesnt already know him.
3) 40 minutes of the worst kids performance EVER. These kids sounded awful. Sure it was cute I guess if it was your kid. Maybe 10 minutes of it I could see but 40 minutes of the Barney on Crack Christmas album sung by little rugrats. They had one little number where a kid of about 5 was dressed as a marine and bowed down to a baby doll. I guess that was supposed to be Jesus. Hell if I dont get it, how can it be evangelism. I am experienced in the Churchianity subculture.

4) 10 minutes of dull Christianity lite preaching and wishing everyone a merry Christmas

If this is supposed to be a time of profound truth and supernatural events, why do those who are supposed to be feeding people spiritually feed them spiritual junk food.

I am NOT GOING BACK UNTIL AFTER THE FIRST OF THE YEAR. I would like to not go back at all but I have to.

So people whine about putting Christ back in Christmas (which he was never in to begin with) and all this other crap.

The Christ I see in Churches (many of them) at this time of year is more like Santa Claus than the Jesus I read about in the Bible

Saturday, December 15, 2007


I want to say thanks to all who prayed. My mom is still in the hospital but they expect her to make a full recovery.

Everyone have a great Christmas

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Helpless Feeling

Today I got a call at work. Not a call anyone ever wants to get. My mom had to be rushed to the hospital. All they would tell me was chest pains. She apparently had trouble breathing.

I left work and established new land speed records in my little Ford Ranger and got to the hospital. For an hour they wouldnt even tell me if she was there. finally they ease my panic and say she has pneumonia. This is a relief. I assume all will be well with some antibiotics.

Later they start ordering test and answer questions about as completely as the Bush Administration. I happened to read a piece of paper with the words "possible PTE". What the fsck is that and why wont anyone tell me whats going on. I calmly leave and said goodnight to my mom who was highly sedated and doing better.

I look up PTE and find out its a blood clot in the lung and is fatal between 8 and 30% of the time. Tomorrow my mom who has been thru hell today will find out what a PTE is. She may well not have a PTE but I am panicked, scared, depressed and worried.

My faith is not holding up well but I have been praying my heart out.

I am frustrated by the nincompoops at the hospital who wont say anything. They should at least tell us wtf is going on.

I hope and pray its nothing. Anyone who prays, I would appreciate any extra prayers you have around.

The other disturbing factor is her symptoms arent new and her primary doctor says, its nothing.

I am mad at the health care system. Honestly I feel like a scared little child whose parents are keeping a dark secret from them.

Anyway, blogs are for venting. I will post what happens.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


Hillary Clinton and John Edwards are proposing a health care plan that will MANDATE that everyone have health insurance. This is not what we need. Supposedly this is going to be similar to the compulsory insurance law for auto insurance. However one does not have to drive. You cannot help but be alive and if you are alive you are MANDATED. What this will do is line the pockets of the HMOs at yours and my expense.  I cannot endorse or vote for any candidate that proposes this.

The Green Party has spoken out against it as well.

I have the freedom to not pad the pockets of the HMOs. Here is what I am going to do.

1) I am going to do what I can to expose these liars in the blogosphere
2) I am going to re-register as a Democrat (Oregon has a closed primary) and put my support behind Barack Obama. The only candidate who stands a chance of getting the nomination that doesnt support this crap. Yes, I know his health care plan is inadequate but its not MANDATORY. I wish we could get Kucinich.
3) I am going to re-register as a Green when all is said and done.
4) If Hillary or Edwards gets the nomination, I will most likely hold my nose and vote for the republican. Though their ideas of how to fix health care suck, they dont force me to support evil. I may just sit out the election.

So now you know why I cannot stand Hillary. Its not her Gender.  Its not even her waffling on issues and saying whatever it takes to get elected. Its this evil abysmal health insurance plan.

What this country needs is socialized medicine. How bad does it have to get before people wake up and see this. Kucinich seems to be the only candidate with good ideas and he cannot get the nomination because people say he cannot. Obama is the lesser evil who stands a chance.

Go ahead and fire away. I hope to get lots of comments on this one.

Time to buy a Buick and get me some depends

Ok. Right off I am sure I offended someone here but my poor joke was simply a way of saying I feel that I am growing older. Which I am. However at 35, I am not ready to start acting like an old person.  When I was in my early 20s, I wanted to get older cause older people could do what they wanted. Once I hit 26, I wanted to stop. Now I dont care.

Everyone who can, get out and enjoy life.  Though I struggle with depression as some know, thats not going to stop me.

Each year, I find myself acting more like an adult and I want to stop. Whats next, is Sears going to have everything I want. Am I going to eat at the Buffet every Sunday, suck on Werthers candy, drive my Buick and talk about how all my friends have died and spend my days deciding what nursing home and/or cemetary I plan to move to. Its really sad. If you have been around old people, you may know what I am talking about. Some are really nice. Others are very sad and depressing to be around. When I lived on the Coast, I thought I was aging at the rate of 5 years per year being around all of them.

Nope, I plan to be the old dude who acts 30 when I am 80.

I noticed a trend. Old people who try to stay young are healthy. Once they start acting old and talking about death and stuff, they die soon or have health problems.

I think its quite possible that cancer and heart disease dont kill. Its knowing you have them that kills you. Probalby not.
Btw, I do not own a Buick, but I do have to drive one at times. My mom owns one. I feel so weird when I drive it.

I dont hate old people. Everyone loves their grandparents (if you are lucky enough to have living grandparents). I wish I could have done more to keep my grandparents young. Then they might still be around.

Anybody else feel the need to beat getting old before it happens?

Saturday, December 08, 2007

What to say

I am not sure what to say right now. I feel as though I am coming out of hibernation. I guess thats logical as a bear. LOL.

Havent done much lately. Weathered out the Oregon storm with no damage here.

I guess all thats on my mind is the future and how to go into it. I think 2007 has been a rough year in a lot of ways. Right now, I am looking at the possibilities for 08. What will it bring. What good can I do for the world. How can I avoid the toxic soup that is the media. How to get the facts without becoming inundated and jaded.

What deep thoughts. I should be on drugs to think like this. But I am not.

Right now I am reminded of years past and the fact I am not getting younger. Though there is time to enjoy life. I want so bad to have the joy I once did. Even if it much of what I knew wasnt real. I almost want it back. In many ways its easier to live in a world where people have common ground with you. The isolation sets in.

I want what I want. I will let you know when I figure out what the hell it is.

Have a merry Chrismas, happy Hannukah, KWanzaa, Ramadan, Solstice, Capitilism day or whatever you want.

To quote a friend of mine "I am lost in the corriders of my mind. I am locked up in my thoughts". He was stoned when he said that but it makes sense to me. I need to quit looking inward and start looking at whats out there.