Saturday, May 30, 2009

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Where we went today

Today on the Coast

Returning to the Coast after two and a half years of not living there was amazing. Being removed from it all the stressors I had when I lived there are distant and gone.

My wife and I planted ourselves on a beach just outside of Seal Rock. We let the dogs (moms dog and our dog) run around. I sat down in the sand and took it all in. I did some breath meditation and then moved on to meditating on the sound of the ocean waves. I also took in the clean air and the feeling of the sand and the beauty of the place. I drifted out into a meditative state and felt very close to God and at total peace. Stayed there about 1/2 hour. My wife talked to me and the dogs became restless but it didnt kill the experience. I just became mindful of them as part of the experience and took it in. In that moment, I was not consumed by either future worries or past regrets. That present moment was just great in itself.

Now I am back in Albany but I think this experience may have changed my life. I feel very close to God right now and know he will take care of us. I also have peace for now.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Visiting Oregon and other stuff

This weekend my wife and I are in Oregon for the weekend. It is nice yet a bit strange to be in what was my home state (or at least where I lived) as a visitor rather than a resident. Removed from the narrow view I had while going through life. The perspective has made me realize that life was good here. Though it may be better in Washington in ways, I am blessed and was blessed to live in Oregon for 5 years. The time has come to stop whining and stop complaining about loss. Both the job in Oregon and the life I had here. Or the supposed spiritual stability that I had in Minnesota. I need to let go and stop clinging to the past. My study of Vipassana and even Buddhism has helped me to stop clinging. We can only control our reaction to the present moment. We can use today to make a better tomorrow but grieving the loss of the past robs us of the present and the future which is really nothing but the present of tomorrow.

Now for those who know my Christian identity dont flip out and think I have gone Buddhist. I am still a Christian (though the meaning of that is different to me than it is to many). I do admire many Buddhist ideas and believe the Buddha was a good, wise, and spiritual man. He never claimed to be God and I dont claim he was or is. Buddhism is more of a philosophy than a religion and what I am learning of it is making me a better Christian and a better person. I find Meditation to be an amazing form of worship of my higher power who I know as Jesus Christ. I dont want to go all dogmatic and doctrinal. Though Churchianity would call this heresy, I believe the Buddha and Jesus may well have followed the same God during their time on earth. HERESY ALERT. WATCH FOR STONES!!!

With that said, I am finding peace and balance. Life in Washington is a new adventure that can be whatever I make it. Life in Oregon was good. I met people who had a profound affect on my life and I like to think I may have been a blessing to some here. Moving to Washington was not the end but the beginning or more accurately a step on the path. As Tim said at open forum today "It isnt over until you are 6 feet under". (maybe not a perfect quote but that stuck with me).,

Sure the world isnt perfect. Things are messed up, Obama is not the savior many thought he would be. But i think I have found peace in the storm, With this peace, it is now possible to affect positive change in the environment instead of getting beat down by the negative.

I really would like to thank all those who have been a help along the way in this journey. I am looking forward to what lies around the corner and past the next tree.

Life is good. Though it has hardships. Suffering is a constant. We cant ever make it go away. We can however choose what we allow it to make us do.

Tomorrow I am going to the Coast. I plan to plop myself down on a beach somewhere and do some serious meditation. Not necessarily of any tradition or discipline but just be mindful of the glorious wonders of creation and the peace of God that dwells within. I plan to seek direction for my life in this practice. Whatever you call it. I am consumed with an idea of finding a way to help people along in their journey. Not to convert anyone. Just to be a blessing.

Peace and love to all