Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Bye Bye Oregon

Well not completely but I am moving. I accepted a job in the Seattle area. Its a good job. Pays more than I got here and more room for growth. I couldnt get ANYTHING around here. Must be time to move on.

I am heading up tomorrow and starting work on Thursday.

Thanks to all that prayed for me. God has a plan.

I think life will be good in Seattle. Bigger city. More to do. But still the Northwest. Still will have trees and mountains.

I will be coming back to Oregon a lot to visit for the foreseeable future.

I think something is about to happen

This roller coaster ride of 3 weeks has been interesting. My perspective is different. If anything I am less depressed and see more hope than I did before the big layoff. I needed some time to collect my thoughts and realize what is important. Not to mention time to kick some strider and combine ass on Half Life 2.

Some job leads have vaporized. others are going well. My two strongest are not in Oregon and not in the same state. One is in Seattle. The other in Chicago. I think I may well have offers from both by the end of the week. Assuming I get both I will be faced with a new dillema. That is that my decision will affect others in a big way.

Seattle is closer. I know people in both cities. My mom hates both ideas but prefers Chicago because she doesnt want to be near my dad. But why cant she just stay in Oregon and we come visit her every couple of weeks. I am torn between the two. I like the job in Chicago but would rather live in Seattle. But sometimes what I want means very little. Seattle would be so much easier to move to.

Anyway a different kind of problem and its all hypothetical since I dont have offers in either place yet. Either way, it is starting to look like bye bye Oregon. I will actually miss this crazy place.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Wage Slave in Search of New Master

I am still alive and kicking. I almost went to Open Forum on Saturday but I didnt want to share the fun and give everyone the pneumonia I was getting over.

I am still out of work. A whole week and a half now. that sounds like nothing but it is something when you realize the money will run out. But I am actually calm.

I havent found a damn thing in the Willamette valley from Portland to Eugene. Its like this place is loaded with out of work IT people and also there is a depressiveness to the place. Its like a lot of people have given up.

a buddy of mine in Chicago is trying to get me into the company he works for and its a strong possibility. I have to think it through. Chicago is a big change but the job would be great.

I also have managed to get interviews in Ventura, CA and Medford, OR (I am going to Medford on Friday). Now Southern Oregon is nice. Though Methford is not my idea of great but its close to Ashland and its still Oregon. That would be a much easier move.

I am torn now. What if I get all three of these jobs. I realize that sounds like a stupid problem but the choice will be hard. Chicago has the best job and the best possiblility of getting another job if that doesnt work out. California has the best weather but its EXPENSIVE(so is Chicago for that matter). Medford is Oregon which I am used to and is drier than here.

Wish me luck. I think I will know this week. Phone interview in Chicago Thursday. Regular interview in Medford Friday and possible trip to California for an interview next week.

I will actually miss this part of Oregon (and its proximity to Seattle and the Ocean) if I leave but I cant stay here and wait for the money to run out. It sounds bad but I was at the Eugene library yesterday and saw a bunch of homeless people. It saddens me that they are discarded by our society but what really scared me was, that could be me in a few months. That got me motivated to get out there and get back to working as a wage slave. Suddenly I feel like a fool for complaining about my last job. I wish I wasnt in a situation where money was so damn important but without it life isnt easy. I want whats best for my family.

Anyway this is mixed up and confused but I wanted to get it out there

Friday, October 10, 2008

Fucked Freedom

Sorry if the title offended anyone. Everyone heres about how crappy the economy is and I have noticed the sinking ship effect at the workplace for a while now. What I did not know was that the iceburg had been hit and I was about to be tossed into the frigid waters.

At about 9AM today I was laid off along with about 17 others. they told me they loved my job performance and I feel my manager (who is a good guy) really didnt want to do this. I knew things were bad but this was like a kick in the face from out of nowhere.

the odd thing is though I am feeling extensive fear and panic as well as uncertainty like how will we pay the rent etc? I also feel liberated in a weird way. Like for the moment. I am not a wage slave or at least a semi emancipated slave. Perhaps this is a good thing. I will tend to see it more that way once I get another job and realize that the old minivan we bought a while back isnt going to be our new home. I will feel better when I know that our diet wont consist of roasted riverrat (or maybe headcrabs).

perhaps its going to be OK. Or perhaps my life will just drain out into the pit that is this fucked free market.

I am holding it together while experiencing the full range of emotions. Everything from I am a worthless piece of shit to I hate corporations and they are evil. At times things dont even seem real. I think that is called shock.

When the dust settles. All may be well.

I could use some prayer.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Where am I

I am still alive and well. A few months back I attended PAX with some friends I met here (Ninjanun and the Pete). Around this same time, I realized I needed a hobby. Now me being a geek at heart decided that PC games may be a great hobby. I used to play them back in the Doom days.

A buddy of mine recommended Half Life 2 which is an amazing game. I am hooked on it and the whole idea of FPS and strategy integrated. I am not one who will play 24 hours a day but its nice to escape the world and become Gordon Freeman for a few hours and take out my frustrations on some zombies and combines. I will have to get more games. If I do one at a time, I can have some fun in my spare time without it becoming an obsession. Beats the hell out of sitting around and whining about the current political and religious state of the world. Though I do that too.

Anyway thought I would update and let all my friends know I am still around.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Wage Slavery

I have been a bit depressed lately. Not specifically because things are bad but because I live in a constant state of fear of losing what I have. Also I feel as if I must work and do whatever it takes to stay employed. Be it corrupt or noble. Be it legal or illegal. Be it moral or immoral. I must do it. I joke and say that if I were told that I must give an exec a blowjob I would have no choice but to comply. Thankfully I havent been in a situation where I have been asked to perform sexual favors but I have had to lie and rip people off (not at this job). What really bugs me is in this supposed free land I dont feel free. Sure I can quit my job but I would have to get another and rent myself out to the man as a slave. I am free to starve to death and live in the street if I dont want to do that.

I like many in this country am a wage slave. A real slave in some ways has it better than a wage slave in that a real or chattel slave cannot be fired. When I become not economically viable I will be tossed by corporate america like a used condom. When I cease to pad the pockets of the ruling class, I am fucked or should I say this wage slave will have to go find a new pimp (uhh I mean master or company) to rent myself to.