Friday, October 10, 2008

Fucked Freedom

Sorry if the title offended anyone. Everyone heres about how crappy the economy is and I have noticed the sinking ship effect at the workplace for a while now. What I did not know was that the iceburg had been hit and I was about to be tossed into the frigid waters.

At about 9AM today I was laid off along with about 17 others. they told me they loved my job performance and I feel my manager (who is a good guy) really didnt want to do this. I knew things were bad but this was like a kick in the face from out of nowhere.

the odd thing is though I am feeling extensive fear and panic as well as uncertainty like how will we pay the rent etc? I also feel liberated in a weird way. Like for the moment. I am not a wage slave or at least a semi emancipated slave. Perhaps this is a good thing. I will tend to see it more that way once I get another job and realize that the old minivan we bought a while back isnt going to be our new home. I will feel better when I know that our diet wont consist of roasted riverrat (or maybe headcrabs).

perhaps its going to be OK. Or perhaps my life will just drain out into the pit that is this fucked free market.

I am holding it together while experiencing the full range of emotions. Everything from I am a worthless piece of shit to I hate corporations and they are evil. At times things dont even seem real. I think that is called shock.

When the dust settles. All may be well.

I could use some prayer.

3 comments:

tkn said...

damn dude,

My condolences... welcome to the (unemployed) club! Don't worry man, everythings gonna be alright.

Think about starting up a worker-owned cooperative.

Nina said...

yikes! sorry to hear that.

there's lots of us out there. i think it's the potential for something positive that comes out of situations like this. something different. something FREEING.

Rock in the Grass (Pete Grassow) said...

hey dude
sorry to hear of your shock. Peace brother.