I found this over at Landover Baptist and its true in many ways

To be a Republican you need to believe:

 

1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary

Clinton.

 

2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s

Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him,

and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.

 

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but

trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international

harmony.

 

4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our

highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

 

5. A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but

multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all

mankind without regulation.

 

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in

speeches, while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.

 

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.

 

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies,

then demand their cooperation and money.

 

9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing

health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO’s and insurance

companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

 

10. Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science , but

creationism should be taught in schools.

 

11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable

offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which

thousands die is solid defense policy.

 

12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the

Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the

Internet.

 

13. The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but

George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.

 

14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re

a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our

prayers for your recovery.

 

15. Supporting “Executive Privilege” for every Republican ever born,

who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)

 

16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960’s is of vital national

interest, but what Bush did in the ’80’s is irrelevant.

 

17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for

wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

 

If you don’t send this to at least 10 other people, we’re likely to

be stuck with more Republicans in ‘08.