Ramblings

This is almost free writing but not. I feel like I am starting to become free. Starting to discover who I am. Not what they tell me I am but who I am. Like a bird leaving the nest. An old bird with a young heart. I am free falling toward the ground. No mother bird to scoop me up. Just the air. All of a sudden something picks me up and sets me on the solid ground. Could it be the hand of God. Why are so many just falling falling fast. Fast toward the ground. About to be smashed to pieces like a splattered egg on the pavement. Then there are those on the ground. They stand there holding nets made of paper mache. They look like they will catch you but they wont. The will just make a tearing sound as you hit the ground. Then they paint over you and make it look like you made it. But really you are smashed to pieces.

I am thankful that the hand of God catches me. He carries me to the ground but not all the way. Just close enough to see the pain of those who hit it hard. Also enough to to wave at those falling and reach out a hand to them. That is if they will take it.

I am guilty of the paper mache net however I saw it before I let many fall to the ground. God has opened my eyes. What was so clear is now obscured by clouds but the fakeness is apparent. My life was like that of Truman in the movie. Now it is real. Whatever real is. I see light in the tunnel and its not from the oncoming train. And to those who lie to me, I see you.

I now wish I could provide comfort to those who have smashed into the pavement but are still alive. Broken and beaten yet alive. I want to be like duct tape for the soul. To tape up the broken wings. Heal up the crushed hearts. I cant do it because though I think I am OK, I too am broken. But not beyond repair.

This stuff is crazy but it was what I was thinking at the time. Take it for what its worth.