Keep on Going

I have been trying to figure out if blogging is even relevant with the explosion of Facebook, Twitter, and other things like it. Which by the way though we may use them we really need to question the motives of the people who run them but thats another story.

I do have something on my mind and it is privacy. I am visiting Oregon this weekend and I was at Target in beautiful Albany. The guy in front ot me was buying some nicotine gum and they carded him (despite the fact he looked at least 35). Now that in and of itself is just policy overshadowing common sense. But when they got his ID the proceeded to try and SCAN it. Now these stupid barcodes on drivers licenses were supposed to be for Law Enforcement or DMV to read. Who knows what data is stored there. Target scanning it is a violation of privacy. What is to stop them from acquiring data (perhaps more than is listed on the front of the license) and using it for targeted marketing?


I am all bent out of shape about this because it is another step toward the "Your Papers Please" orwellian society that is coming about in the name of "security"

I dont like showing my ID to clerks when I use a credit card. I dont want to share my information with a coporation just because I buy something there. They are selling me the item for MONEY not in exchange for my personal ID. When IDs have RFID chips in the (WA has an ENHANCED license that does) people can get info without us knowing. Anybody remember Minority Report? Want to have to have an eyeball transplant to hide from the system?

When anyone asks me for ID for a debit or credit card. I show it then I go online and report them to MasterCard. It is AGAINST their terms of service with the merchant to require anyone to show ID. They can lose their ability to take credit cards. Its not that I am for fraud, I am just against the loss of privacy.


I suggest everyone think twice before

Ageeing to get any ID that requires ANY biometric data (face rec, fingerprints, etc)
Getting ANYTHING with an RFID chip in. (get a foil wallet if you do)

Accepting the "your papers please" metality and forking over ID to anyone who asks.

Allowing anyone to scan your ID (unless they are a cop or at DMV)

Signing up for "club cards" There are some who share them to avoid the info and still get the benefits

We need to wake up to this or we will have all of our movements tracked not by the government but by large FOR PROFIT CORPORATIONS. In this society Hitler wouldnt be a politician. He would be the CEO of an Oil Company.

Anyway, I am done venting.

I dont think blogging is dead. Just not a fad anymore. It must remain. Just try to regurgitate this much in a tweet.

Mt Rainier

Where we went today

Today on the Coast

Returning to the Coast after two and a half years of not living there was amazing. Being removed from it all the stressors I had when I lived there are distant and gone.

My wife and I planted ourselves on a beach just outside of Seal Rock. We let the dogs (moms dog and our dog) run around. I sat down in the sand and took it all in. I did some breath meditation and then moved on to meditating on the sound of the ocean waves. I also took in the clean air and the feeling of the sand and the beauty of the place. I drifted out into a meditative state and felt very close to God and at total peace. Stayed there about 1/2 hour. My wife talked to me and the dogs became restless but it didnt kill the experience. I just became mindful of them as part of the experience and took it in. In that moment, I was not consumed by either future worries or past regrets. That present moment was just great in itself.

Now I am back in Albany but I think this experience may have changed my life. I feel very close to God right now and know he will take care of us. I also have peace for now.

Visiting Oregon and other stuff

This weekend my wife and I are in Oregon for the weekend. It is nice yet a bit strange to be in what was my home state (or at least where I lived) as a visitor rather than a resident. Removed from the narrow view I had while going through life. The perspective has made me realize that life was good here. Though it may be better in Washington in ways, I am blessed and was blessed to live in Oregon for 5 years. The time has come to stop whining and stop complaining about loss. Both the job in Oregon and the life I had here. Or the supposed spiritual stability that I had in Minnesota. I need to let go and stop clinging to the past. My study of Vipassana and even Buddhism has helped me to stop clinging. We can only control our reaction to the present moment. We can use today to make a better tomorrow but grieving the loss of the past robs us of the present and the future which is really nothing but the present of tomorrow.

Now for those who know my Christian identity dont flip out and think I have gone Buddhist. I am still a Christian (though the meaning of that is different to me than it is to many). I do admire many Buddhist ideas and believe the Buddha was a good, wise, and spiritual man. He never claimed to be God and I dont claim he was or is. Buddhism is more of a philosophy than a religion and what I am learning of it is making me a better Christian and a better person. I find Meditation to be an amazing form of worship of my higher power who I know as Jesus Christ. I dont want to go all dogmatic and doctrinal. Though Churchianity would call this heresy, I believe the Buddha and Jesus may well have followed the same God during their time on earth. HERESY ALERT. WATCH FOR STONES!!!

With that said, I am finding peace and balance. Life in Washington is a new adventure that can be whatever I make it. Life in Oregon was good. I met people who had a profound affect on my life and I like to think I may have been a blessing to some here. Moving to Washington was not the end but the beginning or more accurately a step on the path. As Tim said at open forum today "It isnt over until you are 6 feet under". (maybe not a perfect quote but that stuck with me).,

Sure the world isnt perfect. Things are messed up, Obama is not the savior many thought he would be. But i think I have found peace in the storm, With this peace, it is now possible to affect positive change in the environment instead of getting beat down by the negative.

I really would like to thank all those who have been a help along the way in this journey. I am looking forward to what lies around the corner and past the next tree.

Life is good. Though it has hardships. Suffering is a constant. We cant ever make it go away. We can however choose what we allow it to make us do.

Tomorrow I am going to the Coast. I plan to plop myself down on a beach somewhere and do some serious meditation. Not necessarily of any tradition or discipline but just be mindful of the glorious wonders of creation and the peace of God that dwells within. I plan to seek direction for my life in this practice. Whatever you call it. I am consumed with an idea of finding a way to help people along in their journey. Not to convert anyone. Just to be a blessing.

Peace and love to all

Meditation and Worship

Today I was at Church. Not a bad Church. Just a Church. Similar to many others. What was different was my approach to it.

Some may know I have been practicing Meditation (breath meditations, a little Vipassana as well). I thought today instead of letting the Church atmosphere dictate how I should feel and act, I would meditate during the worship. I did some breath meditations and zoned into a meditative state (not real deep but really there). I then put my focus on God as I see him. I definitely felt something and got more out of this experience than I ever did by singing songs, staring at walls and trying to feel something. Meditative worship is something I did long ago when I was more spiritual. I used to do it in the woods and on mountain tops. I didnt call it that then but it is what it was. I called it getting into the presence of God in solitude.

Perhaps that is what Jesus did when he went to solitary place to pray.

I think this is my way of worshipping now. Though Church is far from the only place to do this

Whatever happend to blogging

I keep reading that blogging is dead. Sure there is Twitter which I am on. Some of Twitter seems cool. A lot of it seems petty and insignificant. It does help stay in touch with friends but its no blog.

Blogging is dying because it became trendy and trends fade away. The unwashed masses (or sheeple) follow the coolest thing and lack real depth. Now that I twitter more than I blog, I could be calling myself a sheeple. That isnt what I mean. Many of us are too busy to blog anymore but still would if it mattered anymore.

I did not start blogging because it was trendy. I did it because I wanted to share my thoughts and journey through life and spirituality. Also to hook up with like minded people (both have happened and this is priceless)

Busyness wouldnt kill blogging on its own.What will kill it is that its not "trendy" anymore. The same way the web killed Gopher.

The other thing is the swill called marketing. This crap has overrun the blogosphere.

At one time, the blogosphere was dominated by real people not corporations. Now like the news media and the web (notice I did not say the Internet) blogging has been hijacked by the ruling class (to use a marxist term). Now those with money get the hits.

For something to remain cool, it must either never become trendy or it must remain in existance long after the capitalists and the teenages have moved on.

LONG LIVE GOPHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LONG LIVE BLOGGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LONG LIVE MULTILINE BBS'S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LONG LIVE THE BETAMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Newer and trendier doesnt mean better.

Cyclical Nature of The World

I predict the following:

The 2010 midterm elections will bring a landslide for the Republicans who will get control of the House and Senate

2012 will be a close election and Obama will win by a small margin against either, Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, or Newt Gingrich.

By 2016 all hope will be lost and a Republican will win. Not whoever lost to Obama in 2012 but someone knew. For now I will call him "Jeff". Now Jeff may be related to the Bush or Cheney famiy. This will take place after some scandals rock the Obama administration and everyone longs for Bush now that they have forgotten him.

Something bad will happen in 2017 or 2018 and Jeff will become a national hero.

In 2020 Jeff will beat Chelsea Clinton by a narrow margin.

By 2022 People are growing weary of Jeff and the dems take back the house and senate.

In 2024 people will start to blame Jeff for everything and after we have fought a losing war with Eurasia, Jeff will be losing his popularity and may be impeached.

In the 2024 election, Jeff's VP Jenna Bush loses the election to Emmanuel Lewis. Yes Webster and we all know based on the Bloodhound Gang's song that he is the Anti-Christ....

Anyway a bit of humor but a sad statement of the cyclical nature of the American political climate.

Balance and Moderation

This blog is a mess. Not sure what it is. A lot of pouring out of frustrations knowing that out there people who care still read it from time to time. This was not my intention. I have gone through a lot lately but its actually turned out OK.

I want to become passionate enough about something to get back into thought provoking blogging. I dont want to kill this blog but I really think it has lost its focus.

I guess I need to get out and meet more people and see more things to make it great. Too much time spent working and sleeping.

Life is overall OK. Its always a roller coaster ride but it is what it is.

Obama is president.

I just am not worked up about much right now. When I think of something worth blogging about I will. It may be a while though.

Thanks to all who have stayed with me through the journey and the madness. The journey isnt over. I just want to say new stuff instead of the same stuff.

If anyone wants to contact me, my email is spiritbear928@yahoo.com

Take care

The devil has a foothold on me I guess.

Or some nonsensical crap. Here is what I am talking about. Some may know that in my personal struggle of losing a job and moving I started to drift away from my thinking and run to Church's open loving arms. That seemed good. I went to Church. I even would say that I felt God's presence but the fact that this Church preaches and enforces the insidious Church tax (aka tithing) and the propsperity gospel, I am seriously questioing what I am doing. Right now there is no way we could tithe if we wanted to. I think we have done some crazy shit and though I make more money than ever, we rarely have $10 at any one time. I look at this as a blessing. We have a nice house. Things are good. But I am sorry to say and I wish I had the cojones to say it. Pastor, even if I wanted to be a part of your Church, WE CANT AFFORD IT.

Now even having to think that way is so FREAKING CONTRARY TO WAHT JESUS TAUGHT THAT I WANT TO BE SICK. Jesus would never persecute anyone who couldnt afford to pay the Tithe Tax.

So I am drifting back towards the radical middle. Putting aside the fear taht that is why I lost my job. I actually started to believe it happend because I was so far from Orthodox Churchianity.

I guess my problem is I actually still believe it. Not saying losing faith is good but deep down I still must believe the stuff Churchianity is trying to sell.

Anyone who has wondered out ever think this way? How did you come to terms with the condemnation of believing that circustance must be the punishment of the Lord for being a bad little Christian. It is almost enough to make me drink the kool aid and do as I am told and not think. But can one really return to that once they have been enlightened to the truth? (uh oh I twisted a verse in Hebrews. Beelzebub is gonna get me. I am sick today it must be because I didnt tithe (though 10% of nothing is nothing and that is what I had and what I gave).

Ever seeking the balance between vengeful OT God and Lovable Jesus.

I hope I am not struck dead by the time yuo read this

Nothing to say

Interesting things

Now that Obama is President, the news is full of doom and gloom. Job cuts, poison peanut butter. I wonder if this is a right wing attempt to make it look like Obama is destroying the world

Now that I am not around as many like minded people, I feel I am getting caught up in day to day life and not empathizing with the needs of others as much. Kind of like, I go from A to B and pass whats there and dont see it.

People here in Washington seem to be much more conservative than in Oregon. Here its not the redneck gun toting types with the vote fer boosh stickers but more the educated, well to do, stereotypical Ned Flanders types. Upper middle class, Church going. 2.6 children cookie cutter home, SUV drivers. Now I live in a cookie cutter home so I guess thats unfair but interesting. Perhaps Seattle is more liberal but here in Pierce County, I have noticed this. For a place that is supposed to be so unchuched, it seems everyone I meet goes to Church and there are more megachurches than I have ever seen anywhere.

I am tired of the superficial lets be green crap. Either care about the planet or dont but dont be dumb and try to pretend you care. Trendy green is still trendy.

The Road to Nowhere

OK. As many know I am a doctrinally confused person who still identifies as a Christian but my idea of Christ is a bit different from what you get over at the local Jesus in a box Church.

I read a post on SCP Nation that has got me thinking. Back on 06 when I was seeking truth and burnt out on religion, moving to the left, and finding myself, I met the SCP guys (and some other cool people from there). I admired Steve as a man who was still a Christian yet was not afraid to call the Church on its BS. Now Steve admits to losing his faith. So where does this Christianity on the fringe out of the fold lead to? The religiousity of my past says HELL. My mind says to free thinking.

I admit it, I still have a lot of the FEAR OF GOD in me which prevents me from actually holding what I believe up to the truth-o-meter. I also have a crazy idea that life is better when I am in Church. Even if I cant get into it. So I am at a crossroads. I am not sure what to do. I dont want to lose my faith. It is strong. Churchianty disgusts me in ways but feels safe. Yet I feel blessed. My wife is leaning more toward Church.

I went to a Church service and have gone a few times and the good old feelings were there. I actually thought I felt closer to God. But is it just an emotional trigger that when I hear a certain songs, feelings, noxious gases, I dont know that I experience "religion"

I get the same feelings out in the woods when I pray.

So. I am reminded of the old Ozzy Osbourne song. "the road to nowhere leads to me" Which I always took to mean all roads lead to the same place except for God. So if the road to nowhere leads to Ozzy and since he is the devil (just ask any Church person). Anyway, where does the road to nowhere lead?

Sometimes I feel like I am on a roundabout and only think I am seeing new things but in reality it is the same scenery over and over and over again. I dont want to be who I was, but I want to be at peace. If the road away from Churchianity leads to meltdown and faith loss, then perhaps I shoudl get on the straight an narrow.

Here is another thing. I was finding peace in Buddhist meditation. Then my life fell apart (Job loss, money woes). Now I am more religious and things are going better. Did God get angry at me for meditation and pullt he rug out. Should I run to Church to appease the wrath of the creator?

Obama got inaugurated and God didnt rain fire on the heathens

No fire from heaven. No judgement on the sinful heathens who elected the Obamanation (as in abomination). Of course I am being sarcastic as I voted for Barack Hussein Obama. Just another day. A day of new hope. A happy day that Bush went out with a whimper and not a bang.

We will see what it brings

What the hell is wrong with being an introvert?

OK. I am getting internally fed up. I tend to say nothing and let it boil over. I am an introvert. I am not a shy person. I like getting together with friends and small groups (preferably of other Introverts) and talking about meaningful things. I love reading and blogging. I detest small talk. . I enjoy stimulating conversation but find many extroverts to be fake and boring. Churches value extroverts and try to force introverts to be more outgoing. Lets force people who are drained by people to be more social. Funny as it seems, I love one on one counseling and talking to groups. I think I could be a pastor if I wanted to. I just couldnt handle the small talk.

People get over it... I dont want to be an extrovert. I find parties exhausting (especially around the Holidays) I feel like I need to be medicated to make small talk with people. Yet I can meet up with one or two people and feel like we have been friends for years. That is just the way Introverts are.

Some think I lack confidence and I started to believe it but I dont. I am good at what I do and I know it. I am not arrogant but just because I want to get to the point and get it done without talking about your fscking grandkids doest make me shy. Just focused.

Anyway, to any who have met me in person, if I came off a shy, that was probably just my introversion. I sure dont have a problem saying what I think on a blog or even at open forum. I just dont want to have to put up with extroverts getting inside my head and sapping me of all my energy. Then I would need three days in the woods to recharge. I am a like a bear, If you try to bug me, I will avoid you. If you get in my face, I will growl. If you threaten me or my family, I just might have you for lunch but I would prefer to LEFT ALONE when I am feeling introspective.

Anybody else alive out there who this makes since to.