Friday, November 16, 2007

Christmas

Ok since I am a Christian I should be all happy joy joy about Christmas right. Nope. Here is the deal. Here is what I have a problem with. Dec 25 is generally a nice quiet day but...

People seem to see the need to become small talking social animals this time of year. For Gods sake. its cold, rainy (or snowy depending on where you are) and dark all the time. This is the time of year that people should hibernate not socialize. I am an introvert. That doesnt mean I am super shy. I relate well to people I like in small groups. I can even speak in front of crowds but I cant stand being superficially nice at parties with people I really cannot stand. Work parties are the worst. I get along with co workers but for the most part, I dont want to know them well. I have made friends at every job I have been at. But not with the whole group.

My other big problem is Christmas music. It sucks. Makes me naucious. Triggers me into some hideous childhood memory. I can be in a great mood and if I hear Jingle Bell F'ing rock, its depression city for hours.

The whole Christian aspect. I have read the Bible many times and if you can show me where Jesus said "Celebrate my birthday and give gifts to one another". If you can show me that, I will dress up like santa claus and spray whipped cream and hawaiian punch on my head and go to work that way. What the hell does the fat man have to do with Christ? Just call it Walmart appreciation day or bow down to the gods of retail profit margins. WTF???

People talk about putting Christ back in Christmas. I say take him out. Christmas is an abomination (man I love using that word) to what Jesus taught. Its a holiday glorifying and worshipping the love of money. I dont even think Jesus was born in December. Christmas was a pagan holiday long before Christ came to earth. You cant put Christ back in. He was never in it to begin with.

Christmas cheer and happiness is mostly superficial BS.

Sure I will celebrate in some way. My wife and I and probably my mom will enjoy a nice quiet day.

Its getting to the point I cannot listen to any commercial radio or watch any commercial TV because the bastardized jingles increase the risk of of a cleanup on aisle 5.

So have a happy 4th quarter profit day. May the execs in your company get fatter at your expense. May the almighty dollar be exalted. May the Chinese sweat shop elves make more toys for your brats. May you trample many in your quest for a PS3 or whatever the hell you want.

"God money Ill do anything for you"

"Bow down before the one you serve. Your going to get what you deserve"

Now was that a rant or what. If you dont see my sarcasm then you may be offended. Otherwise it should be a good laugh.

HAVE A MERRY CAPITALISM (uhh Christmas) SEASON

If you are a Christian, find some other day and spend time with Christ.

In all seriousness. I am not Ebenezer Scrooge. I believe in doing good things. You know Peace on Earth good will to men (and women) . Oh wait. Jesus said that. Man that dude said a lot of cool stuff. And to think. I thought Walmart invented all those sayings.

ENJOY. I will shut up now

2 comments:

Unknown said...

You crack me up, man.

tkn said...

phenomenal post!