Balance and Moderation

This blog is a mess. Not sure what it is. A lot of pouring out of frustrations knowing that out there people who care still read it from time to time. This was not my intention. I have gone through a lot lately but its actually turned out OK.

I want to become passionate enough about something to get back into thought provoking blogging. I dont want to kill this blog but I really think it has lost its focus.

I guess I need to get out and meet more people and see more things to make it great. Too much time spent working and sleeping.

Life is overall OK. Its always a roller coaster ride but it is what it is.

Obama is president.

I just am not worked up about much right now. When I think of something worth blogging about I will. It may be a while though.

Thanks to all who have stayed with me through the journey and the madness. The journey isnt over. I just want to say new stuff instead of the same stuff.

If anyone wants to contact me, my email is spiritbear928@yahoo.com

Take care

The devil has a foothold on me I guess.

Or some nonsensical crap. Here is what I am talking about. Some may know that in my personal struggle of losing a job and moving I started to drift away from my thinking and run to Church's open loving arms. That seemed good. I went to Church. I even would say that I felt God's presence but the fact that this Church preaches and enforces the insidious Church tax (aka tithing) and the propsperity gospel, I am seriously questioing what I am doing. Right now there is no way we could tithe if we wanted to. I think we have done some crazy shit and though I make more money than ever, we rarely have $10 at any one time. I look at this as a blessing. We have a nice house. Things are good. But I am sorry to say and I wish I had the cojones to say it. Pastor, even if I wanted to be a part of your Church, WE CANT AFFORD IT.

Now even having to think that way is so FREAKING CONTRARY TO WAHT JESUS TAUGHT THAT I WANT TO BE SICK. Jesus would never persecute anyone who couldnt afford to pay the Tithe Tax.

So I am drifting back towards the radical middle. Putting aside the fear taht that is why I lost my job. I actually started to believe it happend because I was so far from Orthodox Churchianity.

I guess my problem is I actually still believe it. Not saying losing faith is good but deep down I still must believe the stuff Churchianity is trying to sell.

Anyone who has wondered out ever think this way? How did you come to terms with the condemnation of believing that circustance must be the punishment of the Lord for being a bad little Christian. It is almost enough to make me drink the kool aid and do as I am told and not think. But can one really return to that once they have been enlightened to the truth? (uh oh I twisted a verse in Hebrews. Beelzebub is gonna get me. I am sick today it must be because I didnt tithe (though 10% of nothing is nothing and that is what I had and what I gave).

Ever seeking the balance between vengeful OT God and Lovable Jesus.

I hope I am not struck dead by the time yuo read this

Nothing to say

Interesting things

Now that Obama is President, the news is full of doom and gloom. Job cuts, poison peanut butter. I wonder if this is a right wing attempt to make it look like Obama is destroying the world

Now that I am not around as many like minded people, I feel I am getting caught up in day to day life and not empathizing with the needs of others as much. Kind of like, I go from A to B and pass whats there and dont see it.

People here in Washington seem to be much more conservative than in Oregon. Here its not the redneck gun toting types with the vote fer boosh stickers but more the educated, well to do, stereotypical Ned Flanders types. Upper middle class, Church going. 2.6 children cookie cutter home, SUV drivers. Now I live in a cookie cutter home so I guess thats unfair but interesting. Perhaps Seattle is more liberal but here in Pierce County, I have noticed this. For a place that is supposed to be so unchuched, it seems everyone I meet goes to Church and there are more megachurches than I have ever seen anywhere.

I am tired of the superficial lets be green crap. Either care about the planet or dont but dont be dumb and try to pretend you care. Trendy green is still trendy.